What is YOU ? where is Ego ? Alan Watts describes us more than we usually do.

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Another Alan Watts short talk typed into text to share: Apparently KPFK programmer gets to air old tapes that are on sale elsewhere , so the exposure is a promo for the sales site too-  stated as : Alanwatts.org                    It appears often that when audio/visual CD's or DVD's are re-played on-public airwaves [owned by all the USA, not even by the USA government according to Ralph Nader's reminders of what is publicly owned and privately used for profits or other gains too ]  used by KPFK too. all parties in these exchanges must have proper, legal, monetary or trade- arrangements, & agreements. Or  the agreements to having materials available to thus make more public, - as if released by that media, as is KPFK,  is not stated or exposed openly. If the content and audio, or other media, are  not just sold for profit [or any not-admitted political/other social gains by the  originating company- must be that such materials are 'borrowed' or received from for further exposure. Yet,  the details of how such arrangements are made, what benefits-trades-are exchanged are never revealed on air- where "the rest of us " can understand what business arrangements are made and who gives/gets permissions.  Yet our being stakeholders and having made donations to maintain Our Radio Station does not give us any such information or reveal how or who chooses what & agrees to lend, give, play, or not - what Exchanges are made that then gives KPFK that stuff to replay on-air.  We often wonder how those trades or exchanges occur, who benefits more, and why such advantages and benefits are never acknowledged openly.  Just being curious, and donor is insufficient to ever receive any answers to any questions to the radio station we have so long supported so generously, too. Or what limitations are included in those permissions to 'air' whatever then becomes the sounds/ words/ stories and slants of that media outlet.                                                             [Giger =  excellent artist -in google images ] see also more elsewhere too :  https://creators.vice.com/en_us/article/9ad7ny/original-creators-biomechanical-surrealist-hrgiger or more visuals of who we also are see:  https://www.google.com/search?q=german+artist+surreal+art+of+aliens&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjv-YiJy4HcAhUFL30KHdQwBDcQ_AUICSgA&biw=893&bih=530&dpr=0.9                                           *********************   ‘what am I ? -  EGO”      as heard played on KPFK airwaves on July 1 2018  & typed "The one who you are is the experience…. And yet, we talk about egos, use the word “I” and we wonder what people mean by “I” – it comes out in curious lapses of speech – we don’t say “we are a body” we say “I have a body” but don’t identify with all of  .... ourselves as if parts of body were ‘outside of me’ – ‘my feet’, my stomach…. Not as ME – the rest sort of dangles outside – the governing part is eGo – that is “me” That seems to be a hallucination – that is not what you are at all = is illusion that you are the center of all – that stands against and in opposition to all those parts, you are the chauffeur of all parts of body – caught in a trap – so is your body is caught in there, tired, hurt and wears out and dies … and you feel the world is OUTSIDE your body- that is more tragic, they are all out for themselves, as you are… so scary Animals, plants, rocks and behind the whole thing the radioactive place called ‘stars’ – where we don’t know what is out-there..we see ourselves as CENTERS of very tender, vulnerable consciousness’… the world that doesn’t give a damn about that us…we have to pick a fight with that world … so we then have to conquer everything ‘ the conquest of everything out there [- because we feel ourselves to be this lonely ego trapped in the body in a world that doesn’t go OUR way – so we have to control it, conquer it, fight it, etc That is a totally false concept of ourselves inside a bag of skin                       [google shares images generously ] When we are the whole of our body – tho bounded by a skin, differentiating between outside and my inside, we get confused at times but my body cannot exist except in a certain kind of natural environment – air of at certain temperature, with a certain kind of nutrition – on an earth that is situated a certain distance from sun and other planets= No way of separating myself, physical body from all else that is That means that I as a body go-with my natural environment, as bees do to flowers, tho seem very different from flower                                                                                                 &                                                               But where there are no flowers there are no bees and vice versa, they make up a single system, life form, a unified whole Like my stomach my head, they are both me, and integrated into 1 as they go with each other… so then if I define myself scientific way I have to include more what each and all are doing – I cannot describe 1 part unless I describe the whole environment in which it is living, being, doing… The ground is needed to explain ‘walking’ or I cant say i walk. I AM IS A TRANSACTION between this organism and all around/else in a Unified field – we call it awkwardly as ”organism environment” From a scientific pt of view but includes a lot more than that.... But that is not what my ego feels like, common conception of ‘I”- as I seem to be opposing the environment and don’t mostly include the rest of the organism – as it is a chauffeur while body is the car – Seems to be in course of civilization we confuse our IDEAS and symbols and the world itself. – the word is not the thing…. [sing along ditty ]  THE WORD IS NOT THE REALITY, and we confuse that                                                                          [google knows words are images too ] Our image of god is made up mostly of things other people told us – orb y looking in mirror or listen to bad tape recorder and ewe get an image of ourselves, or see a drawing , or photo … But that is not ‘me’ – that is an image and so often we confuse who /what we are = a person  [ as a persona= is the sound-goes with mask worn by actors in drama, who had megaphones for mouth to be heard by audience in ancient Greek ] So ‘persona’  thus tells you your Role you are in society – described as clown, strong silent, clinging vine type = a certain way of acting  that you then identify yourself and form an IMAGE of your self ... In same way it is asocial institution to divide day into 24 hrs or foot in to 12 inches, or measure in any way We have chosen, but there are not latitude or longitude on earth- those are abstract imaginary lines – same way as images of yourself as Ego are also imagined, and is NOT this organism and certainly in it s inseparable relationship to it’s necessary environment Image you have your self is a caricature = like we have of Hitler w/mustache & hair – as symbolic parts Our image is a caricature of ourselves does not include all the essential parts of our self – occasionally we become momentarily aware of our breathing, stomach ache, foot hurt or mostly we are unaware = of other people as just doing functions for us, our needed services, but we don’t think about air pressure  or chem. Constitution of what is ‘air’ and these are not included in the ego Image Which is only an illusion, anyhow We say ‘I am free to act’ – and ‘I am a solid being as this “I” – as if, there is something there-  as if, in this symbol there is a concentrate reference  - because of  a solid sensation [imagined] – as intestines, etc.  …. If brain is that  ego, how is that ? when you have hardly any direct sensation of your brain, as when surgery on brain  you don’t feel much sensation there… so you don’t feel all these interior ‘parts’ ....so they cant be part of the ego.... When your eyes function well, you don’t realize eyes are part of you, as ego…but if they hurt or dysfunction, then you feel them, notice them…                               [google also sees all, almost] When you have sensation of “I” is like having something wrong – like spots in front of eye s= so feel that YOU is different from everything you normally commonly experience You are all that and more besides…  more than what you sense or admit or call “me”  Remember when a child you were told to “pay attn !” – so you were scared, put a frown on face and that was presentation of ‘paying attn’ as we each were repeatedly  told by adults… but that is nothing to do  - but pretending to pay attn = putting on a role... As when pretending to concentrate on reading a book – so you think of how you ought to look like ‘reading a book’- imagining what it must be like to be seen by others as ‘reading a book’ – have a hard look, stare at book – but that makes image fuzzy …. To see things clearly, you let light come into your eyes, without straining, and not have to ‘listen carefully!’ as directly because when you Try to do it “as ordered’/ told/should do it – then you cant do it  because you strain muscles, eyes, to see, or look at, to read..and then mind is diverted-  by ‘trying to use your Will” – to ‘try harder’ – to clench your fist, strain , hold stomach in, hold breath, contract rectal muscles – all that has nothing to do with your natural nervous system –and all that distracts from courage, action, the seeing, hearing, thinking, learning But all are attempts to “MAKE our nervous system’ function properly – but it doesn’t, cant,  like pulling on seat belt in plane to make it go up in air – but it doesn’t                 The common sensation to which we call “I” so our ego –                               [google eyes, more ]  is an illusion married to a futility – to trying.. Wouldn’t it be much better to have a sensation of ourselves that accorded to our selves – to know the natural environment – which is whole universe – why don’t we feel that ? because all else we are taught/ trying gets in our way.... that is LIKE BEING HYPNOTIZED ..... to try to be “you” and then what do we do ? we  destroy, exploit, pollute  that same environment -  which is like doing that to your body, because we keep doing  that – in trying to find out who we are or trying to Control that 'ego' , “I” ..the one that is seen as if "out-here"... We cant get rid of illusion of ego, because we cant lift ourselves up by bootstraps or fight fire with fire, because it is a vicious circle, we worry because we are worried go round and round and get crazier than ever but.....‘this false ego cant be gotten rid of -  because it cant be done .... How can I (as an ego) get rid of this ego ? we cant ! [google images of our scan, measurable, but not identifiable as "I", is it ? We just don’t get the message  – your will, your ego cannot get rid of that hallucination ! You cant do anything about it because YOU DON’T EXIST as “ego”. So you cant do anything about it, or get rid of it. Just as You can't control your feelings, emotions, or those  physical sensations either … So then what follows ?  what is going on ?    You see, feel, and notice all that happens...  and all is amazing,... you can get up, walk , pick up milk & drink it and nothing like ego is standing in your way ...you can still act in rational way ....                                        [ 1 google glass w/milk ] but you are NOT WHAT YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE –  [that thought is an image, an idea, a teaching and agreeing concept, not a 'thing' of itself ] As if "I" as ‘an ego’  is actually [in real lived life is ] pushing other  things around, and as you are nothing more than  ‘a bag of skin’  [separate from all else you see, notice, &  think is 'there' instead of "me" or in 'here'....] When ... you are just the whole world, including our body, [ not just "a body" or that it is "yours" owned, controlled by that ego ...] and when all is going-along with all else ….” ####  So any and all of those labels, identifications, and any roles  - with images - are  always played in certain contexts : with  imagined or presented ‘stories, mind-pictures' and more , or even internally mind-held ‘hallucinations’ that are UN-awaredly being held -as if, these are all Part of WHAT ‘I am”  ...but  while bits of these mind-imaginings are handy & practical in daily living on earth, they are  NOT ever ALL OF WHAT I AM….. nor what you are either. or do you "know" something more and different than what Watts explains - in order to OPEN our minds from being socialized, hypnotized, numbed and dumbed-down into being zombies, instead of living-fully while here as Human [animal] beings . A few words have been edited in to elucidate more clearly what is explained by Watts above, not to correct him but because in attempting to type every word he uttered in a fluid setting with audiences and sounds muffled by old  microphones in peopled settings, the intent is to be clearer and comprehensible.  Anything else that is done here is for the making available MORE available , in written text, versus just audio on radio airwaves where they are limited to when played, when retrievable to listen only [not to download from KPFK's Archives, as they are OWNED as if someone is earning profits from a relative long dead and who may not have written his own wishes for what do with his then long ago output in lectures, workshops, talks, etc.  see more here    = Online Archives Archive KPFK Public Radio - Online Archives. Shows will remain ...   https://www.d.umn.edu/~jvileta/nonlaunch/alanwatts/allanwattslectures.html http://www.alanwatts.com/ https://www.gaia.com/series/essential-lectures-alan-watts   and there is more on internet, at any local library, bookstore, or friend's home, maybe...                  (c) my 2018